Fostering Real Family Values in OC
By Denise Penn
The Gay & Lesbian Center of Greater Long Beach received a grant of $25,000 from L.A. County Supervisor Don Knabe to create a program to provide mental-health services and counseling for its clients. The program will offer counseling services to help people deal with issues such as depression, anxiety, relationships, HIV, substance use and domestic violence.
“Mental illness affects people regardless of who they are,” said Knabe. “An affordable mental-health program like this provides access to underserved segments of our community.”
The Center has formed the Mental Health Steering Committee, comprising medical and mental-health professionals and community leaders. The 20-member committee is charged with the creation of a mental-health counseling program at the Center and will be co-chaired by Long Beach First Lady Nancy Foster and community member Richard Lewis. Foster is a strong advocate of mental-health awareness and treatment. Other community leaders who will be part of the Committee include Long Beach 2nd District Councilmember Suja Lowenthal and Signal Hill Councilmember Larry Forester.
“The steering committee is made up of a very talented group of individuals,” said Lewis. “This is the right group of people to make sure that we create a strong program.”
“The program’s primary goal is to provide affordable psychotherapy for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community in a safe and supportive environment,” explained Kim Woods, executive director of the Center. “We have a real need for mental-health counseling services in our community.” This will help our community and strengthen many of our existing programs. We are so thankful for each of the community member’s involvement on this committee.”
The committee will meet regularly with the program launch scheduled for early February 2009. “We have one more meeting this month,” said Woods, adding that the program will be launched with a special event at the Art Theater with a presentation that will include Foster, Lowenthal and Knabe.
“We will have an LCSW who will be supervising 10 interns, and we will provide counseling for low-income clients, youth and will start parenting classes.” said Woods.
Another program that will be launched is a Youth Leadership Academy. The Center’s youth programs have been instrumental in helping LGBTQ youth. Mentoring Youth Through Empowerment (MYTE ) is among the programs committed to improving the quality of life youth by providing a safe, affirmative environment for peer interaction and by enlisting informed, productive and positive role models. MYTE engages youths through group activities that involve leadership training; life-skills workshops, such as cooking and communication skills; health workshops, including meditation exercises and “Q&A” workshops on safer sex. One recreational venture was through the invitation of the U.S. Sailing Center, which provided youth with the opportunity to sail on the ocean with teams headed by staff, MYTE volunteers and a MYTE parent.
The Center is moving forward to empower, train and establish new youth leadership. A total of six meetings are planned to get the program together. Cory Allen and Brian Fredericks have taken the lead on moving things forward, and the Center will host the location and provide support. The Academy will be a place to send any youth who may be interested in being a part of LGBTQ leadership.
The Center has been providing a variety of health, social, advocacy, legal and service programs to the LGBT community in the Long Beach area for three decades. The Center serves approximately 21,000 LGBTQ clients annually, offering 23 different programs and services.
For more information about the Center LB, visit www.centerlb.org.
Proposition 8 may have denied same-sex couples the legal right to marry, but it certainly did not change the fact that countless LGBT couples are in committed relationships. Unfortunately, countless children are living without a loving family. When a same-sex couple decides to invite a child into their lives, the results are often spectacular.
Cynthia Stogel, foster -care adoption coordinator for Children’s Bureau of Southern California, oversees the adoption component of the organization’s foster-care program. The Children’s Bureau is a licensed foster care and adoption agency authorized to “recruit, train, approve, and work” with applicants in six local counties, including Orange and Los Angeles counties. “We do not do international or private adoptions,” Stogel says. “We are working with families who have their children removed from them because of abuse or neglect.” Stogel cannot recall how long she has been facilitating same-sex family adoptions, but she knows they “have been doing it for many years.” In addition to traditional couples, single people and unmarried heterosexual couples are also welcome. The family dynamic is not always apparent through the written application. “I think it becomes clear [who they are] as the family applies and we get to know them,” Stogel explained.
When asked if there were places same-sex couples were prohibited from fostering, Stogel replied, “Not here certainly. I don’t know about other states. I suppose any agency can do what they want.” Children need families “who will be loving and nurturing and provide a safe environment,” Stogel said. Ideally, a foster-care placement will lead to adoption. The process can take anywhere from six to 18 months. Adoption cannot be finalized until a child has been in the home for at least six months, and many cases take longer because “the courts want to make sure that the birth parents have the legal amount of time to get their lives together.”
To facilitate the process and to ease the transition, the Children’s Bureau provides copious support: social workers make weekly home visits for at least the first three months and are always available by phone; a psychologist reviews the children’s progress; there are support groups, mentoring, training, and referral resources.
The families receive a foster-care subsidy based on the child’s age. Once adoption is finalized, families receive “an adoption assistance subsidy that will last until the child is 18 or 21, depending on needs.” Adopted children are also entitled to Medi-Cal; however, Stogel added, “often families end up switching to their own private insurance.” Financial considerations are a part of the application process. “We don’t want a family to go into financial crisis because of adoption,” Stogel explained. “We have families who live in apartments and families in very lovely six-bedroom homes. We don’t assess people on how much money they make, but on if they can live on their income.”
According to Stogel, there is a variety of children who need homes: “We have a large population of 0- to 5-year-olds. We also have families adopting teenagers.” Younger children have likely been exposed to drugs and alcohol, so adoptive parents need to be familiar with issues surrounding prenatal exposure to addictive substances. Older children understand more about what is happening to them, so the Children’s Bureau provides support to “help them deal with grief and loss.” Whatever a couple may be seeking, they are likely to find, Stogel said, lamenting that “[we] have more children that need families, than we do families who want children.”
Kerri Draper and Karla Cleghorn are a Children’s Bureau success story. The two welcomed 14-month-old Eddie into their homes in 2005. “It took about a year before we went through the finalization,” which occurred Aug. 29, 2006, Draper said. After looking at other agencies, Draper and Cleghorn chose the Children’s Bureau and have been impressed by the amount of support they receive: “We have people we can talk to whenever we want,” Draper added.
Draper and Cleghorn have been together for 23 years. Cleghorn is a teacher and Draper, a former research technician, is a full-time mother. “Being a stay-at-home mom is much rougher than going to work,” she said. In their O.C. neighborhood, Draper has not experienced any discrimination; at least not overtly. The neighborhood parents get together and the kids play.
The couple wanted a younger child, birth – 2 years old. Describing their experience, Draper said, “They call you and say, ‘we have this baby’ and ask if you want to take him or not. You meet him, or her, and you decide.” Eddie’s birth parents were unable to care for him. In some cases, such parents wish to stay in the child’s life. During the fostering relationship, birth parents are allowed visitation, and Draper and Cleghorn met with Eddie’s birth parents.
Adoptive parents are issued a new certificate of birth when adoption is finalized. Often they choose a new name for the child. Draper and Cleghorn kept Eddie’s first name (Everardo) but gave him a new middle name and the last name “Cleghorn-Draper.” Eddie adjusted easily to the change, according to Draper.
Eddie’s home environment is loving, but different, and beyond the basic challenges of parenting, Draper said her biggest challenge lies ahead. “When,” she pondered, “do you say he has two moms?”
To learn more about the Children’s Bureau, call (213) 342-0100 or visit www.all4kids.org.